What Happened to God

If this poem were true, it would explain a lot of things. As it is, it still explains some, including my own sick sense of humor. Or perhaps reveals would be a better word. In the meantime, it would be good to remember that this is a work of the imagination, and that any resemblance between the characters in this poem and real living deities or people is purely coincidental.

What Happened to God

One day, God was feeling bored,
so he decided to change his name.
To make it official, he paid a visit
to the county courthouse
to fill out the proper form.
In the blank labeled Current Name,
he carefully wrote �God.�
In the blank labeled New Name,
he wrote �Dave Smith.�
When he was done filling out the form,
he handed it to a gum-chewing clerk.
The clerk barely glanced at the form,
then asked God for thirty-five dollars.
God took the money out of his wallet
and put it on the counter.
The clerk yawned.
Without bothering to look up, he said,
I�ll also need to see some I.D.
To show he had a sense of humor,
God threw a bolt of lightning
into the counter
at a forty-five-degree angle.
The clerk, however, was unimpressed.
With an air of bureaucratic disdain, he said,
Is there a problem?
God winked and pointed
to his name on the form.
Look, buddy, the clerk said,
I don�t care who you are. No I.D.,
no name change. It�s up to you.
Realizing it was hopeless,
God showed the clerk his driver�s license.
Satisfied, the clerk stamped the form
in several places,
initialed it in three corners,
shoved it back across the counter,
then went to use the restroom.
God left the building.
To celebrate, he had a few drinks
at the Jay Club, then stole a Corvette
and took it for a drive in the mountains.
Feeling reckless, and at the same time
numbed by the effects of alcohol,
he lost control at a curve
and drove off a cliff.
It was a messy business, to be sure,
but relatively easy to sort out.
To their credit, as soon as the authorities
realized what had happened,
they did the best thing possible
under the circumstances.
Name of the deceased was given as
Dave Smith. Occupation, inventor.
There were no next of kin.
Since then, no one has been the wiser.

Note: Poems, Slightly Used, a growing collection of work first published in my blog, Recently Banned Literature, can be found here.

Available from Cosmopsis Books of San Francisco

Winter Poems
by William Michaelian

Winter Poems (click to view cover)

ISBN: 978-0-9796599-0-4
US $11.95; $8.95 at Cosmopsis Books
52 pages. 6x9. Paper.
Includes one drawing.
San Francisco, June 2007
Signed, numbered & illustrated copies

Winter Poems displays the skills and abilities of Mr. Michaelian at their most elemental level, at the bone. Wandering amidst a barren world, a world scraped bare, he plucks the full moon like fruit from the winter sky, goes mad and befriends a pack of hungry wolves, burns his poems to keep warm. He is a flake of snow, a frozen old man, a spider spinning winter webs. Spring is only a vague notion of a waiting vineyard, crocuses, and ten-thousand babies. The author is alone, musing, reflecting, at times participating. But not quite alone, for he brings the lucky reader along. I�ve been there, to this winter world, and I plan to go back.

                                                            � John Berbrich, Barbaric Yawp

Another Song I Know � Short Poems
by William Michaelian

Another Song I Know (click to view cover)

ISBN: 978-0-9796599-1-1
US $13.95; $10.95 at Cosmopsis Books
80 pages. 6x9. Paper.
Includes Author�s Note.
San Francisco, June 2007
Signed, numbered & illustrated copies

Another Song I Know is a delightful collection of brief, resilient poems. Reading them, one by one by one, is like taking a walk through our common everyday world and suddenly hearing what the poet hears: the leaves, a coffee cup, chairs � and yes, even people, singing their songs of wisdom, sweetness, and light.

                                                            � Tom Koontz, Barnwood poetry magazine

Also by William Michaelian

Winter Poems

ISBN: 978-0-9796599-0-4
52 pages. Paper.
Another Song I Know
ISBN: 978-0-9796599-1-1
80 pages. Paper.
Cosmopsis Books
San Francisco

Signed copies available

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